Beautiful Disaster
by Ivory Byrd
Summary: Now Just a plain ol oneshot... Zuko has joined the Gaang and has some trouble coping with his past... can the troublesome waterbending girl really help?


I do not in any way own Avatar or its characters or places or anything depicted. I do however own this plot... thats it... hell i am using my husband's computer to write this so... yeah i dont own much of anything... DONT SUE ME!!!

_ He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world would cave in  
It just ain't right  
Lord it just ain't riht_

o and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
would it be beautiful  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's magic and myth  
As strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with,  
More damage than a soul should see  
But do I try to change him  
So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight  
hold on me tight

Oh coz I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful  
Or just a beautiful disaster

I'm longing for love and the logical  
But he's only happy hysterical  
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle  
Waited so long  
I've waited so long

He's soft to the touch  
But frayed at the ends he breaks  
He's never enough  
And still he's more than I can take

Oh coz I dont know  
I dont know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful  
such a beautiful disaster  
beautiful  
beautiful disaster 

Beautiful Disaster

It had only been a week and a half that Zuko had joined the gang and as it was believed by everyone it had been a rocky, uneventful beginning. Between the two fist-fights with the warrior idiot, getting into very heated arguments with the female water bender, and then being made fun of with his new idiotic nick name "angry bastard" care of the short earth bender, he was about to go on a mass homicide of the team. Aang left him to his own devices and sometimes break up fights between him and the two water tribe teens. It was definitely not a team made in heaven. But now to add to Zuko's ever lasting anger with the world, including his home, they were heading into a territory he did not favor at all. He hated riding the stupid bison, he amazingly preferred going on the water more. But this territory in itself spelt his worst aggressions. Is bitterness had reached a level to where the rest of the group had been wary to approach him on the subject. Katara had been innocent in asking at first but received a biting "I don't want to talk about it" that alerted Sokka into punching Zuko squarely in the face, Zuko had in turn just walked to his usual corner away from the friends. It had been Iroh's dying wish that he had to do what was right and finish training Aang in fire bending. He had taken that considerably since his uncle was all he had left, and then moments later was gone… like everything else in his life.  
Katara may have not liked the older boy much but she had a bone in her that made her worry about everyone, she was fortunate since she was first to back Zuko up on coming with them. They had their pleasant conversations and their heated ones. He was almost exactly opposite from her. On the other side of the world hypothetically. But geographically they were neighbors, she had never felt calm around him though, always a sense of fear crept up to her when he was around. Like the feeling of a cougar lion stepping up to you but not acknowledging your presence. Zuko to her was quiet, shy, and very inward. She knew that if he loosened and let things go he would be more outward and maybe even friendly. She didn't deny either that he was handsome. Like anyway you would picture a prince. That was the catch he had, he was a prince. The word had always stuck to her as a sort of romantic thing. But adding the name Zuko kind of defeated the romanticism behind it. But she watched him sometimes to examine him completely and maybe see him in another light. In his natural movement he moved lightly and almost like a dancer or a flame, but that was only when he didn't think anyone was watching or he was required to. Other times when his mood seemed to be foul, which since he had joined them was a good portion, he would walk with poor posture and with heavy footsteps.

Zuko hated Katara for a good reason. She was female, she was a water bender, and she was completely unattainable. He didn't think of her in any other way than just a traveling companion. Never without the traveling part. He hated girls thanks to his sister, he didn't see any use of them, or falling in love for that matter, he learned very early on that "you hurt the ones you love most of all" and since he still had that seed of compassion he didn't want to put anyone through that. He didn't like being lead on or leading on, so he never really had any kind of interaction with girls, his actions around them were the same he would portray around other males. He hadn't any experience with sexual acts or even remotely romantic acts. Having time for neither. And right now as he sat in his corner away from everyone, in the blistering unnatural cold of the northern mountains of the earth kingdom. The place he less wanted to be, the hormones that had been surfacing in the last couple days were long forgotten.

* * *

Katara watched as Aang and Sokka were huddled next to each other in their tent, snoring loudly. Momo was curled on top of Aang's head shivering and keeping the bald child's head warm. She didn't want to go to sleep just yet. She was worried about their new companion. Toph stood up suddenly and made a tent around herself.  
"When your done being nice just knock and I will let you in." Toph said as the rock tent closed tightly. "You should go in for bed," she heard behind her. "What are you going to do." She asked him without looking. "You cant possibly stay out here and freeze to death." "When did you start caring?" he asked bitterly. 

"You're the one who started this conversation so I should be asking you that." She retorted.

He didn't say anything but got up to avoid a verbal squabble between him and this girl.

"Where are you going?" she asked him quicky.

"I have to go take care of something, don't follow me, and don't wait up for me." he voice dripped with bitterness.

She couldn't say a word as he left. He had for once left her wordlessly hurt. It wasn't the base of his words that did but the look he gave her. The fire had made his eyes look deadly and serious. What was he going to do that cause him to form words like that. It had begun snowing as he disappeared from her sight. Even the snow was fearful of the soon to be fire lord. She stared after his foot steps as the began to fill in with snow. She fed the fire a bit and shivered in the cold wind. She was normally very accustomed to the snow and cold, but a certain prince that had just walked away stole her body heat with that stare. She began to drift off a bit. Even the snow fall didn't keep her awake. But when her ears picked up a young child crying she shot up off the ground.

"Hello?" She looked around and saw nothing but their camp, Appa was asleep and covered in a thin layer of snow, as were all of the tents. She got up and dusted herself of snow and walked over to Zuko's sleeping bag and noticed it was still empty.

A feeling of something behind her caused her to whirl around. Nothing was there. The sound of a crying child came again, some what louder. "Is someone out there?" She asked. Something crossed at the corner of her eye. A little boy was standing crying at the edge of their camp. Katara walked over to him slowly not to frighten him. He had his hair up in a tiny pony tail like Sokka's. The boy was in a red pair of pajamas with his hands over his face. Crying loudly.

"Honey are you lost?" Katara asked as she came closer. He looked up as if he heard her. "Come here and tell me what's wrong, I wont hurt you." She reached out for him. He turned and ran in the same direction Zuko had earlier. Maybe if she ran into him he could help her find the boy. But in her thoughts she didn't notice that the boy disappeared. She came upon a small circles of light where the trees grew a bit farther apart and opening to the skies had let the moon's light in. She smiled at light of the moon. She found a pair of foot prints she only guessed as the moody prince. She wondered what he had been doing out this far anyways?

She walked around a large tree and her heart leapt into her throat. Zuko was kneeling in front of a wooden make-shift head stone with a pile of snow lilies in front. She knew immediately it was a grave. The wooden head stone was leaned up against a tree. He hadn't noticed he was being watched, his head was almost between his knees. His hands were planted in front of him. He was bowing to the grave. She noticed he didn't move for a while. Was he asleep, or fainted. She noticed a slight shiver come over him. He had almost an inch of snow on his back. And something she never thought she would hear a whimper escaped his body. Zuko almost regretted coming now, the snow was getting heavy since there was no tree cover above him, his circle of light was becoming very heavy with snow. He didn't hear the light foot steps come up behind him and he didn't hear a soft thud as knees hit the ground next to him.

Katara was shaking in fear, but she was determined. She noticed quickly that he had etched "Ursa Mother and Wife of the Fire Nation" Zuko could feel something next to him. He only guessed it was that girl, always putting him in a bad mood.

"Hello… my name is Katara… I know your son, I consider him a good friend, even if he doesn't see me in the same way"

"Go away." Zuko hissed not looking at her as he sat up. He hoped his words would scare her off.

"I know your son probably has been through a lot, I can compare very easily… Have you met my mom up there? Her name is Konoko. If you see her she is very nice. You must be very proud of your son, he brought you beautiful flowers, they were probably your favorite. I hope your up in heaven drinking tea and playing Pai Sho with his uncle"

Zuko listened to the girl next to him, he didn't know if he should yell at her for being stupid for talking to grave, cry because she was talking to his mother, or be happy that she wasn't talking to him.

"Your son gets angry with me sometimes, I can understand since we have very little in common, and sometimes its kinda fun to argue with him, and I believe he thinks that too, I know he likes to see me riled up as I do him." Katara smiled when she felt like she wasn't going to get killed. "I see your name is Ursa, that's a very beautiful name, much nicer than Katara. Your son, despite his own assurance, is a very handsome prince, and I know that you would have been very beautiful, my gran-gran told me that daughters look like their fathers and sons look like their mothers, he must make you very proud of what he has done, he never gave up on anything, much to my annoyance sometimes, but I had found it admirable, if you ask any girl they would say the same."

Zuko felt incredibly guilty that he had been treating this girl with his bad temper.

"The son you raised, I believe will take his place in his kingdom, and end this war. I see it in his eyes when he looks at what has happened. You raised a beautiful, great person, Ursa, no one could compare to his strengths and determination…" she stopped and continued looking down, her eyes moved to his legs and his hands. "I guess you would love to hear him speak to you for a while." She looked up finally and wiped her eyes of tears that had been welling up.

"Did you mean all of that?" She heard next to her.

"Every word. Even being annoyed by your determination sometimes." She didn't look at him and he didn't look at her.

"You know in the fire nation you would be thought insane to talk to a grave." he said with some light humor in his voice.

"Yeah I could imagine, Sokka and I would go to mother's grave every year she had died and talk to her about what happened that year. When I get back to the south pole, back home, I want to go talk to her again." She reached around to his back and patted off some of the snow then off his hair. "I think she would love to hear you talk to her now. She probably misses your voice."

"I… can you... "

Katara stood understanding, she walked towards the camp but stopped and sat behind a tree out of his sight, just in case he needed her.  
'Why would he need me?' She thought to herself.

Zuko knew she was still close by, it didn't bother him much. He didn't know how he would start, he had never talked to his dead mother before, the thought itself was a bit silly. "Mother, its your son, I am talking to this headstone and I don't know what to say at all. But I miss you a lot. Everything is a disaster. Father hates me, Azula hates me, Iroh is gone, my birth right is out of my hands, this world hates me, and I don't know why. My hands aren't blood stained, I just did everything my father told me to. I did it so he would love me. Mother I am not as beautiful as… Katara… made me out to be, I have been dealt an ugly face"

Katara's heart was being squeezed as she heard his voice crack from being on the verge of crying.

"What the hell did I do that was wrong?!" he yelled towards the sky. "I did everything I was told, I did it whole heartedly, I never killed anyone, I never laid mass murder to thousand of people, nor did I wipe out a whole nation of air benders!" Katara was shivering in fear and hurt. "I have had everything ripped from my arms, you mother, you left when I wanted some explanation. You said that everything you did was for me and me only. I would have given anything to have looked for you instead of the avatar. I would have given anything for your life to be intact instead of father and Azula. Everything comes easily for Azula, the gods love her! They hate me as I try to end this war, keep stripping me down! Azula lies, cheats, and kills. Then gets all of the luck. I am only lucky to be alive still. The only thing that hasn't blow up in my face was cheating death…" he laid his head down and sobbed into the snow.

Katara didn't move in just yet to comfort him.

"I wish my luck had already ran short with my life, keeping me alive to make things around me crumble more is a bit too much. I am not much of a son to you mother. I cant even stand up against the man who murdered you, I cant stand up to Azula, I cant stand up to my own fate… it's just too big for me. I didn't dig my hole, it was dug for me!" He yelled loudly slamming his fist into the tree, breaking the bark from it. He cried out to his mother again and sobbed even harder. He grabbed a fist full of snow and threw it in his rage. "Please momma, come back!" He was becoming delirious with anger and sadness that he couldn't hear someone running to him.

Katara panicked and ran to him to keep him from hurting himself. His knuckles where he had hit the tree were bleeding horribly and she was sure he probably broke a couple of his fingers. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and held closely to his back. She was holding him tightly to keep him from lashing out. His head was hanging as he sobbed an cried out in pain that was finally releasing. It was a very dangerous thing when a bender had gotten like this. She was in major danger unless she could get him calmed down. She had been like this many times, after her mother died she caused a major avalanche with her anger and sadness. It was similar to the avatar state but not as destructive and just as uncontrollable.

He didn't even notice she was holding tightly onto him. Katara let one of her hands free and she stroked his black hair. She was starting to warm up quite quickly when she felt his body almost begin to ignite. A ring of fire grew rapidly around them and then began to burn the snow away.

Zuko didn't stop there, this was too deep and too painful for him.

"Zuko you have to calm down, please you will burn down the whole forest if you don't just let it go!" Katara said in his ear. She still stayed at his back with one hand wrapped around his arms and torso, the other holding his head protectively. "Zuko please calm down…. Come on… hush… I wont leave you I promise…" She felt his body cool a bit. His sobbing died slowly but the tears still could be felt falling on her arm. She calmly pressed her lips to the back of his head and whispered comforts to him. She could feel him shiver under her arms. She was crying also and her tears hit the back of his neck an almost froze in place. She loosened her arms around him. He turned to her and grabbed her around the waist as she fell into his arms with a tiny squeek. She adjusted herself to where she was straddling his waist. She held his head in the crook of her neck and continued the comforting words. His hands were wrapped tightly around her back as he slightly kneaded his fingers as if clawing and wanting this girl closer than she already was.

They stayed like that for almost another hour. Katara had relaxed against him and fallen asleep, she didn't have to worry about staying warm with him this close, his body heat kept her at a comfortable temperature. Zuko felt much better. He looked over a the headstone that had his mother's name on it and smiled. "Good night mother."

He picked the girl up that was still in his arms, not moving her from her position on him. He arms fell from his neck to her sides as he began walking. He kept one hand under her legs and the other on her back like he was holding a young child. After a few minutes of walking he found the camp and knocked on the stone tent that Toph had been in.

The door opened and the messy haired earth bender stuck her head out. "What do you want?" She asked groggily. Zuko pointed to the girl in his arms and laid her down inside the tent as Toph helped him pull her in. She couldn't tell it very well but Zuko was sniffling.

"What happened?" Toph asked.

"She fell asleep out in the snow." Toph could tell it was a partial lie, but by the sound of his quaking voice she didn't push the subject.

"Good night." He said.

"Hey angry butt, do you want a tent to keep you from drowning in snow?" Toph asked.

"That would be nice." he replied, his voice warming slightly.

Toph patted the ground and a tent big enough for him shot up behind him.

"Thank you." He said.

"Welcome…" She replied and shut the door.

Zuko had slept a bit better that night knowing that he had a friend….

* * *

Two months passed and everything was done. The fighting, the war, Ozai had been taken down by his own people with the help of the Avatar at their backs. As his father had laid dying Zuko looked solemly at the man. Ozai reached to his son asking for help, promising him many things for his hand. Zuko just stared as his father's eyes closed for the final time. 

They had just dropped Toph at her parents home as she was greeted with great happiness.

The relationship between Zuko and Katara never grown past what had happened between them at his mother's grave. They never really spoke of it either, and never mentioned it to the others. Zuko's mood had lightened considerably after that though. Him and Sokka after a couple weeks stopped fighting and were becoming friends, they talked about the different things they did trying to best the other on which was more dangerous.

Aang was now a full fledged Avatar. The love he had for Katara had to be forgotten and probably wasn't going to come back anytime soon, he noticed the way she looked at Zuko, and how they fought and laughed. They had a special bond between them as great benders. There was a trust that almost surpassed his imagination. The one thing they may have had in common.

And despite what Zuko thinks Aang noticed Zuko had looked at Katara when she didn't notice as she had done to him. Now that everything was done and over, they could stop worrying about the war. They could now endeavor in normal teenage antics like flirting and messing around.

"So who's next?" Aang asked of the three remaining passengers. "Katara... Sokka, how bout you since its on the way to the fire nation."

"What do you say Zuko?" Sokka asked the guy across from him.

Zuko hadn't paid much attention. He was staring off into the sea.

"Fire nation to Zuko?" Sokka said louder.

Zuko snapped to attention. "What?"

"Do you mind stopping in the South Pole to drop Katara and Sokka off?" Aang asked.

"Thats fine." Zuko said looking away again.

They had flown for almost a day before landing finally in their village. Zuko was very nervous since the last time he had been there he had almost destroyed the place. He did look a bit different than then, his hair was about about chin length and messy. He tried putting it up like Sokka's but was made fun of quickly by the said wolf tailed water tribe warrior.

But this wasnt the stem of his worry, he didnt want Katara to leave just yet. He couldnt get the feeling out of his stomach that he just didnt like. It was telling him to sweep her off her feet and take her home with him. He knew he couldnt do that, taking her away would just make it a bit worse.

He stayed on top of Appa until everyone was off first. He did this because once he had gotten off first and as Katara was climbing down he asked her something and she fell from being distracted. It wasnt too bad though, she had fallen on him.

He looked around and noticed a small grave site and remembered that she made mention that when she got home finally she would go and talk to her mom and tell her everything that had happened. He climbed down on the other side.

"You guys go on ahead I have to do something." He told them when they asked him if he were coming.

Sokka just commented that he probably felt a little scared since the last time Zuko was there he had tried to destroy the village.

That was only half right. Zuko treaded the quarter mile to the grave site and looked amongst all of the head stones. He knew that most of them were from the same day. The day his country had attacked this village and laid massacre to it. He found on headstone that stood out from the others, it was much larger than the others. He guessed it was because it was the Chief's wife. "Konoko, leader and mother to the end." It had read. This was her mother.

He got on his knees and pulled a snow lily from his coat pocket and laid it on the snow in front of the stone.

"Hi, you may not know this but my name is Zuko, I am... was the prince of the nation that killed you. I am very sorry that my people took you away from your family. As they had done to mine. Your daughter is becoming a great woman, and I thought that maybe I should let you know before she told you otherwise. She is the greatest water bender I have ever seen. If you happen to talk to her in her dreams don't tell her I told you this but I really like her. I know it's very bad and very frowned upon, but I just want to let you know, and keep it between us ok?" He smiled.

"Hey mom, he isnt boring you is he?" He heard behind him. "Is he trying to tell you all the embarrassing things that happened?"

Zuko turned and blushed slightly, but his face was already red from the cold. "No just with-holding secrets from you with your mom." he smiled and laughed.

She pushed him lightly. He laughed and threw a snowball at her.

She bent the snow and sent a wave at him. "Go on, my father wants to meet you." She said, "Sokka's waiting at Appa so you dont have to walk alone."

When she could tell he was out of hearing range she bent down at her mother's grave. "Hey mom..."

Zuko met up with Sokka like she said. The two guys walked and threw snowballs at each other as they headed to the village. Before he walked in he stopped. Sokka noticed his friend's fear.

"Seriously Zuko, he isnt going to kill you, he just wants to talk politics, you know what leaders usually talk about?"

Zuko went in and was greeted warmly and he was handed a bowl of pickled prune soup by an older lady, he guessed was their "gran-gran".

Katara had came in about fifteen minutes later, her face red as she was handed a bowl of soup. She looked for an empty seat. Zuko moved over towards Aang and away from her father to give her room. She smiled and joined in the talking.

* * *

Zuko and Aang began getting things and supplies together to leave when they heard running and yelling. 

A group of girls headed came running up. They grabbed Katara from behind them and pushed her up in front. She was blushing heavily and looked down at the snow.

The girls giggled and ran and grabbed Aang and hoisted him away leaving Katara and Zuko alone.

"Um... well they wanted me you wish you safe travel and luck..." She said not raising her head.

"Thank you, is there anything else?" He asked.

"Not really, um... do you have anything to say to me?" She turned the tables on him.

"Actually I do." He sighed knowing it would have to come out soon enough. "I wanted to let you know..."

Katara blushed even more, he didnt think she could get any redder. He felt his own face get red.

He pulled her into an embrace. "Thank you for everything." he said

"Your welcome..." She said, a bit unsatisfied.

He let go of her and began to climb Appa.

She couldnt control her arm as it grabbed for his coat and pulled him back down and turned him back.

He was a bit surprised at this. Knowing he might not get off the island without telling her.

But he didnt have to when she pushed him into Appa and kissed him lightly on the lips.

She pulled away and turned to run but he did as she did and grabbed her coat arm and pulled her back and kissed her again.

Aang had crawled on top of Appa and caught the second kiss. He rolled his eyes and waited for a good few minutes for them to discontinue kissing. He noticed that Zuko was threading his arm through Appa's saddle strap and pointed to the sky.

"Yip Yip!" Aang yelled. Appa raised and lowered his tail creating a gust of wind that separated the two teens and sent Katara flying back a bit. She got up as Zuko climbed up the saddle and reached down and waved.

"Dont worry I will be on a excursion again, this time I will be hunting you down!" he yelled as she reached up. She bent the snow under her and sent it up in a pillar to reach for his hand.

"You better keep your word." She barely touched his fingers as he was pulled higher into the air away from the crazy girl.

Katara let herself fall into the snow and laid there for a minute. "He better keep his promise..."

* * *

Yay thats the end... its what happens when i stay up really late and get an idea at 2:30 in the morning and accidentally fall asleep... sorry if it sucks a bit... i was a bit more creative last night... the title Beautiful Disaster comes from the Kelly Clarkson song I was listening to when this story formed. Other songs like "Kimi Negai Wo" and "Coo Quack Cluck" by Miyavi helped me form this story, I dont own the rights to any of those songs, just the cd's... I dont own avatar... and the girls that drug Aang away are a pack of Zutara fans... but thank you for reading and let me know what you think... 


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